Everyone can relate in one way or another to the phrase. “There’s no place like home.” For me, this week totally exemplified this phrase. Going home for the Easter Holidays was one of the most fulfilling times in my life on so many levels. By that I mean I truly understand the meaning of “home”. As Christians we are taught that the Lenten Season is for prayer, fasting and alms-giving I like to think of it as a purging process of selfishness, self-seeking motives, and strengthening our relationship with God. It is a time of true reflection of whom we are with God and where we stand on our journey of faith. Jesus died for all our sins past, present and future. His dying on the cross assures us everlasting life with Him in heaven where our true home is and Lent is the time for us to revisit with Him not only His journey, but our own. Whether it is good or bad, revisiting and reflection is the key to realization and moving forward.
I have to say He answered my prayers this Easter week as I was able to walk symbolically with Him through betrayal, death and resurrection.
As most of you who know me, know I had a very close and wonderful relationship with my mother. I loved her dearly in life and miss her terribly now that she is gone, so going home for me is both a happy time and a bittersweet one as well. It has been a rough year for me physically, mentally and spiritually. Many times I have been on my knees and having serious conversations in prayer to God, and in all this time I wish I had my mother to talk with to help me through it all. Little did I know she would speak to me in volumes on this trip both spiritually and physically.
Our trip started out like any other trip – hurriedly packing suitcases for the kids, myself and my husband; washing last minute clothes and cleaning up the house so I wouldn’t have to do it when I got home. (I know some of you are laughing at the last thing I did, but deep down us women know that when we get back from a trip we have enough to do with putting away all the stuff we took with us on the trip and everything else we accumulated from the trip as well!) Getting out the house with everyone and everything for a 10 hour trip was tumultuous but we did it. Not to mention we added two more people to our trip- my oldest daughter Rachel and her boyfriend. Finally we were off and driving at midnight.
We arrived the next morning at my brother-in-laws apartment which is close to the French Quarter and along the Mississippi River. As we toured his rooftop patio I knew it was going to be a great trip. Feeling the breeze off the river, I soaked in the gorgeous view of the ships passing by and the skyline view of the city of New Orleans. The beautiful weather beckoned us towards the bustling French Quarter. Not to mention my hungry stomach and aching need to eat some delicious N’Awlins cooking! Call it middle age reminiscing, wanting to relive younger days or just to reconnect and rejuvenate my tired spirit, but coming home never tasted, smelled or felt so sweet.
As our visit continued we visited with more family and friends and even reconnected with friends from the former community we lived in before Hurricane Katrina. Our N’Awlins trip was going as planned – everyone was enjoying themselves, eating everything in sight, playing tourist, sightseeing with the kids, introducing Rachel’s boyfriend to family… and then it happened. Rachel wanted to go visit my mother’s grave. She had never been back to New Orleans since my mother’s death. Never in the 5 years since her death did I visit her grave. The reason was because where she is buried is in a bad neighborhood and anyone who knows what it is like in New Orleans now can understand this situation. But she insisted, so we went to visit. Of course we couldn’t get into the mausoleum because it was closed and it was then that my visit home took a turn. It was then I began to think of my mother.
On so many of the trips home before I felt so sad and drained, but this time I became more introspective about things. Eventually Rachel would be able to visit her grave and leave roses which my mother loved. I like to think it was her gift to Rachel for coming home at last. I on the other hand was not able to visit her grave site, but the pictures my brother-in-law sent me of the front of the grave with both my mother and father’s names and the flowers Rachel placed there were enough. Or so I thought so at the time. Little did I know my mother would send me much more.
As with most families the introduction of a boyfriend to the family can be stressful, but in our case it was time for breaking out the old family photo album. My mother had made each one of my siblings a photo album to have and my sister had not lost hers during Katrina so she pulled it out to show Esteban our family history. It was a big hit! I could hear laughing from the kids and questions coming from the living room but I wasn’t there. I was exhausted from all the walking, eating and visiting and was lying down in the back bedroom. Next thing I knew my sister was waking me and telling me to come and watch the video of my Mother’s 74th Surprise birthday party. While getting out the photo album she had found the video. I told her I was too tired and went back to sleep.
The next morning my son Josh eagerly told me about the video and that I should watch it. Of course I gave him every excuse in the book not to watch it, but eventually my husband sat me down and told me to watch. With my Kleenex in hand and clutching a pillow I began to watch the video. One by one I saw family members and friends in the video who were now deceased, but in every frame I also saw my mother who I had not seen or heard in 5 years. I was able to see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her voice and remember how much she meant to me and to so many people. Fond memories of our time spent together came flooding back to me and not to mention how much our family has grown and changed over the years since that time. It made me smile.
In this video was a lifetime of memories all tied up in this one moment in time. In that one moment so many life lessons came flooding in –savor every moment with the ones you love, life not matter how much you plan can change in an instant, be thankful for what you have now and don’t worry about the future because you are not guaranteed tomorrow, enjoy every moment with family and friends, love until it hurts and count yourself among the blessed because God loves you unconditionally. Wow, so much reflection at one time. As my eyes swelled with tears, my heart was filled with love. A love that only comes from knowing that my mother was truly with me and that God had answered my prayer.
You see, when I was going through my roughest time this year I asked God to just let me hear or speak to my mother one more time. As I sat totally absorbed in watching every detail of the video and was thinking how great it was to see her and hear her again, He answered my prayer. The video was coming to the end and my mother was standing in the middle of a group of people around the cake table ready to take a picture when she suddenly leaned forward and called out my name, “Theresa, Theresa, Theresa?” I replied to her as if she was there, “Yes mother.” She then said, “Did you get it? Did you get it?” I answered softly, “Yes I did.” Upon which she stood up straight and smiled. It was then my heart was healed and my soul renewed. In that instant I knew I was truly home.
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